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Week 12…..Day 4….It’s human day……roll up for the appendage showbag….

Noooo......but I do now.........

According to my ever informative facebook, on this day, exactly one year ago, I wrote some useless shlock as my status update, and they would like to remind me of this event. How kind. And also, how special. It’s up there with comparing you to some legend in history who ‘on this day’, invented the beer tap, or swam their way around the world in a shark costume (ok, made this one up..). I must admit, I did feel a tad famous for .3 seconds. I’m clearly easily impressed….

So this has now set into motion a whole cascade of thoughts (yep, still haven’t had the ritalin prescription filled yet…), regarding how each day, (all 24hrs), can be a really special one worth remembering in years to come, or just another repeat of the previous one….This is quite exciting and depressing all at the same time. Fortunately, sometimes special days are bestowed upon us, and we are instructed to make good use of them. There’s still room for squandering even these ones though……

Now besides birthdays and anniversaries (and let’s face it, we can probably celebrate the anniversary of anything really:relationships of course, followed by deaths, the day you let yourself go, the marathon you didn’t finish, when your house burnt down, your first anaphylactic episode from turnips etc etc…), let’s not forget all the special days we celebrate as a society, and the other ones we should be celebrating……

Obviously, throughout the calendar year, we have days set aside to indulge certain people and events. Mothers, fathers, Jesus (he gets Easter AND Christmas…), workers, some chick in a palace in another country, the country, a really expensive show, and some naked boy with arrows trying to put an end to singlehood everywhere…All of these are to be celebrated to some extent, and will often require financial backing and at times a little guilt…

Since there are 365 days in a year, I’m thinking that we could possibly add a few more days to celebrate, because some of the aforementioned ones may not include everyone, and I would like to think that we are a rather inclusive society, where everyone is accounted for. I mean, what about the single unemployed orphaned atheist anti monarchist immigrant who hates going to the local show?? What good are any of these special days???

Perhaps that naked cupid boy day should be abolished......

Right, so I have come up with a few more days that should possibly be considered, and at the very least, have some referendum on the issue…

Human body day. Everyone can relate to this (unless you are just stem cells in a test tube….but hopefully you won’t really care at this point..). Why not a day to celebrate the fact that we have matter to navigate our way around the planet, and something to also mistreat, and inadvertently turn on us at anytime? I’m sure cannibals would love it. I can already see the supermarket cashing in on cheap sponge cakes in anatomical configurations….

Animal day. If we get to celebrate all that is human, why not also a special day for the cute beings amongst us? I’m sure they tire of us celebrating any given day with cake, beer or chocolate just because we’re alive. Celebrating this day with crap cake in animal shapes though would not be appropriate…

Adult day. I don’t care if there is already an allocated day for mummys and daddys, some of us adults aren’t in either category. How about a day to just celebrate the fact we made it out of childhood (without being bullied to death regarding braces, cruel name, or bed wetting hobby), surely this is something to be congratulated? This could also commemorate a day where the word ‘adult’ is used without alluding to any risque activity purely because you’re over 18….Adult fun can just as easily mean hijacking jumping castles with a nice diet coke (that’s a REALLY bad example….).

Tax payers day. Now, if ever there were an inclusive day, this is surely it (unless you are one of the fortunate ones to live in a cave). Why not a day to celebrate all that hard earned money we work really hard for (when I used to work of course), or the exorbitant mark up on luxury items, that is then ripped away from us like a chocolate sundae at fat camp. This has honorary day written all over it…

Great inventions/inventors day. There are some inventions in the world that make our time on the planet much more pleasant, and although we may every now and then acknowledge the brainchild behind them, do we really give their ingeniousness a second thought? I think not. So how about a special day to reflect on all these great people and their inventions that mean that we no longer need to empty last night’s curry into a backyard shallow grave, can see at night time without burning the house down, can stalk people without leaving your couch, can eat fresh produce picked 20yrs ago, and can emulate bronzed sun god/goddess (or carrot royalty…), without ever meeting the sun. Let’s here it for all the smarty pants people…..

There are probably a million more days we could celebrate, but this would require heaps more thinking on my behalf, and I’m not really up for that at the moment. I think I may have ‘useless brain activity fatigue’. Yes that is a real condition……I’m sure if you wikipedia it, you will be convinced…

As a diversion, I have just realised (and am perhaps still in shock…), that this is my last weekend in my 30’s……Hopefully next weekend I won’t be donning a short perm and drop waist dress….And if I am, I’m deleting this entire blog somehow (might need my computer nerd friends for this…), and starting again…..

Unfortunately, today was not a particularly ‘special’ day, although it has been a great day in every unproductive area you can imagine…and I’m ok with that. I can’t be finding the cure to human idiocy every day!!! Since there are 365 days in these years, I think I can afford to waste a few……….



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