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Week 12…..Day 3……Life……….Take two………………

Do you ever feel like you’re just playing a part in a really mediocre production called ‘life’, and that you unfortunately got some crap bit part???? No, me neither……..Ok, maybe sometimes just a little. I also feel as though I may have misinterpreted the script, and am not carrying out the director’s instructions as intended. Not that there’s anything wrong with B grade viewing…I guess…

Now, in this dodgy movie, my role seems to be absent from the main plot, and is instead caught up in all the superfluous sub plots that don’t contribute too much to the overall story line. Who needs all that extra pressure of academy award nominations anyway?? Surely there are awards for those flying under the radar, and content to observe life from afar as well???

Right, two paragraphs of really deep stuff (or crap…..fine line..). Time to reel it in and get down to the useless stuff…… why my bobby pins are able to keep breeding, producing more than my hair could use in a lifetime, and why my clothes’ pegs haven’t learnt this skill, leaving my newly washed clothes stranded. Surely a government grant and some keen Phd student could figure this out? Are there particular birds with peg fetishes? Are my newly clean (and now overly confident), garments ingesting them? Are they committing suicide because I keep them locked up in a cold stark environment, and am not attentive in colour coding them with each clean item? More of life’s pressures………

I guess I have been quite reflective about life today, just for something different, and since I haven’t had much ‘jig saw’ time (refer previous post), in the last 24hrs, my mind is really going to town. Perhaps this is what happens when you’re about to enter a new decade??  Geez……turning 50 is going to be a real hoot……..

My reflections today have unfortunately been obsessed  with a particular fear of mine (yep, there are more…I must surely be up for some award at this rate…..). And entering adulthood is just the beginning……….Have I mentioned already that I’m not digging this whole adult caper?????

How come getting reprimanded and humiliated doesn’t stop when we’re old enough to ingest stuff that should supposedly give us the false bravado to do something about it? This is a rhetorical question and one that will just have to be shelved with why eating food off someone else’s plate doesn’t contain calories, and why cinemas haven’t invented silent food packaging……We clearly need more than one lifetime to deal with all of these hard hitting topics…..Although some of us aren’t doing a great job with this lifetime….

Getting in trouble……….too many opportunities……

*Come out of womb silent. Not good enough. Slap across bum. Scream you naughty human.

*Childhood. Don’t pick your nose. Don’t eat the lead paint off your toys. Don’t evacuate your contents on new persian rug. Don’t shove crayons up sibling’s nostrils. Don’t even think about getting any older…

*Adulthood. Don’t piss your boss off. Don’t dare forget parent’s wedding anniversary. Don’t hop on public transport without correct change. Don’t neglect your weekly exercise you lazy cow. Don’t you dare cut and colour your own hair. Don’t forget to floss. Don’t drink and drive you bloody idiot. Don’t you dare park here for more than 2 hours. Don’t let that virus completely destroy your computer. Don’t eat all of that. Don’t be neglecting your flu shots. Don’t be hating…………..

*Old age. Don’t come down to lunch without your teeth. Don’t keep referring to me as your daughter. Don’t wear your pyjama pants on your head……

Ok, point made. No matter what stage of life, there is always someone around who wants to improve, change or stop what you are currently doing…….I’m not always a fan of this ideology…….sometimes, you just want to say…LEAVE ME ALONE…..

Rant over. I will no doubt be getting in trouble for stuff till the end (the funeral directors will probably be offended by my open bar requests etc…..), and just need to learn some coping skills to deal with mr taxi driver yelling at me because I don’t carry cash.

On a more positive note, it is once again Friday night. The night that offers sooo much potential and disappointment all in one easy to swallow capsule. Surely I can escape getting in trouble tonight???? As long as the housework police aren’t making random calls, I think I’m on easy street….

So another day headed towards the new 30’s (this idea obviously invented by some very optimistic 40yr old on acid….), and thinking up more ways to avoid getting in trouble………I don’t have time for a job……..



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