According to my trusty television, for $229, I can jump on a really unreliable airline, and fly myself to Tokyo. Whilst this is very tempting, and something I considered for 3 seconds, I have decided to not go with my impulsive instinct, and instead remain here to live out the rest of my holiday in untidy town. And ‘holiday’ is such a subjective term anyway…….one person’s holiday, is another person’s boot camp……….
Sooooooooo, on today’s holiday, I think I may demand my money back, and sue the travel agent. Not to mention the cleaning ladies who did a very crap job, and deserve their pays deducted…….geez, if you want things done properly, do it yourself….or not…
Right, now to be completely honest, today is not going to be winning ‘day of the year’, and I only have myself to blame for this. Not exercising discretion at ridiculous hours of the morning, have resulted in not being in bed at rejuvenating hours (which is extremely crucial when you have 2 weeks left in your 30’s…), and not making the most of the 20 minutes you’re up anyway (major over exaggeration alert….). So I guess today is one EXTREMELY lazy Sunday that will not be leaving some amazing inspirational footprint after all…..sigh…..
Although………….I am reminded again today of one very important lesson……..”the body ALWAYS wins”. I don’t care what anyone says, if you have a body (and I’m assuming anyone reading this does, unless they are just a brain with eyes on a stick….and then that’s just really weird, and I would probably prefer you don’t read this…), it will win any battle you attempt to go into with it. And, if you’re the skeptical type, and need examples, you have come to the right place!!!
*If you indulge all of your gastronomical fantasies too often, you WILL end up with more body than you probably need or want. Basically, there will just be more of you to be discontent, not to mention increased food bill which does not suit those of us trying to live like monks…..
*Withholding water WILL make your kidneys really pissed off, and skin a little parched. Oh, and perhaps a tad thirsty….. Not sure why I’ve always felt like this law didn’t apply to me, but after nearly 40 years on the planet, I think I’m starting to understand the relevance of this item to our daily survival. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t believe it’s going to solve the world’s problems (refer previous post……how cool, a post referral…….), but sometimes that chalky taste sensation following an evening of salt seasoned with… salt, mixed with dehydrating liquids such as caffeine, (or alcohol even……just something I’ve read about….), can really make you fall in love with this tasteless matter, until your eyes suddenly refocus on it’s more tasty rivals…….hello juice, coffee……A dehydrated body is very sad……..and will make sure you know all about it…..
*It has a memory akin to that of your average elephant, and will punish accordingly. You may think you got away with a week’s/month’s/year’s (depending on your age of course), worth of neglecting the demanding beast, but think again. When you’re least expecting it, welcome to your worst physical nightmare. So what if your gut is exploding with every breath, head pounding in time to the latest hip hop tracks, skin erupting into miniature volcanic monstrosities, or energy levels disintegrating to cadaver status, at least you got to dance to your favourite tunes…………..
*It loves to share and receive bugs that make you covet the whole brain on a stick idea after all. Not dismissing the kind sharing gig, but why does it have to be heinous little creatures that cause bodily parts to revolt against themselves, provoke social isolation, and wish you were asphyxiating on deep fried butter, that choose to spread the love???? Just mean I guess……..
*It’s really precious about the whole sleeping caper. Deny it this little activity, and watch mr grumpy emerge, alongside mr delayed brain function. That’s right, a few hours of slumber deprivation, and your little body will repay you with sluggishness, stupidity and a mean streak. Temperamental piece of work really. If only there was an alternative…..
Right, to sum up, I have inevitably abused a certain body (wishes to remain anonymous), over the last weekend/week (who cares about details???), and am now suffering some really mean consequences (I’m sure that Newton guy has accounted for this in one of his smart physics laws somewhere……). I will accept my fate and pretend it’s some vindictive bug that just likes to see me suffer, because for all my faults, I am also fantastic at denial…..oh wait……..I guess this could also be deemed a fault?????
So, am hoping to YET AGAIN get back on track this week since I am really running out of time now……….Oh.dear. Not sure what the track is at this stage, but I’m thinking it’s quite possibly not the one I’ve been skipping down this week……if my body’s really frickn annoying loud voice is anything to go by…….Perhaps I just need better earplugs and a new improved version of denial??? Just kidding of course………………bring on the new and improved week!!!!!